My Poetry. Scottish Gossip.

Aye hen the bairn is oot
Caught this laddie full o soot
Ben the skullery wash yer nut
Efter yer dad has kicked yer butt.
Yer sister kens the lassie Betty
Her mans iy oot and awfy sweaty
Eyes like peeholes in the snaw
The Police came he shot the craw.
Dinny sniff yer granda’s soaks
Stinks awe fish and artichokes
Canny smell his nose is wasted
Like the chicken efter its basted.
The wee man sings his awfy song
Thank the lord he’ll no be long
Toneless deef and full o whiskey
Eyeing the women up and awfy frisky.
He’s no awa tae the bookies again
That auld chancer has gone insane
Bets his shirt on an auld lame hoarse
Canny run or finish the course.
Gonny put the kettle oooon
Invite auld aggie and cousin Joan
Talk eh knitting oot the back
Hae a bun and have a crack.

Good luck if you can understand this lol.